Thursday, 14 November 2013

Chapter 44-Hi, I'm SchizoPhrenic

August 1996

My room, it seems, is the new topic of discussion. No one has ever seen anything quite like it and even the valiant attempts by Shom, as a temporary room-mate, were not quite enough to prevent it from winning the "Worst Room" Award, or as some were saying, the "Worst Room Ever" award.
I wish I was more bothered about it all, but I'm not. I have a prize to show for it, a lovely 6 foot poster of a castle in the Bavarian forest that I chose. Aashik got stuck with something else.

With LOHA Day gone, accompanied by the usual "Grand Special" dinner and the JAM, there is Curie Day to look forward to. For many people, this is an opportunity to finally pay a visit to their respective girlfriend's rooms (doors open at 15 degrees), and for many others, it's just a chance to enter the premises of what is otherwise off-limits territory. There is a song and dance routine put up by the girls, mainly from my batch, which is boring as hell and the dinner is far better on our side also.
Vinay and I don't have any rooms to visit, so after a while, we get out and go booze.

Coming up is Interclass and this time, being the Organizing batch,  we are the frontrunners by default. Our seniors are now in Final Year and have better things to worry about than Cooking and Skits. We are brilliant at Skits and Ad-Zaps (thanks to me, Vinay, TV, Vinod, Deepak) and we run away with the competition. Our music team, which has already won prizes at Pondy Engg. College (PECOFES) obviously wins here too, thanks to Moa's guitar and Chakma's singing. It's good to win, but nowhere as much fun as last year.
There is no need to do a Star Trek redux which is a pity. I personally think that that was a ground breaking event, breaking enough ground to get disqualified inspite of very liberal rules.

Something new is happening though. This year we are introducing the "Mr Jipmer and Miss Jipmer" competition. I gather that this is like Fashion Show where the wannabes sashay down a ramp extending down from the Lister Square stage and try their best to walk the walk and talk the talk. The event is scheduled for late evening and Vinay and I walk to the back of the stage to see what's happening. Lister Square, as expected, is packed, with some waiting to ogle and some just waiting to see who screws up the most. We fall in the latter category and it's amusing to see everyone take themselves so seriously backstage.
Walks are being practiced, last minute costumes are being adjusted, "correct" answers are being practiced. There's tension in the air. It's laughable.
A girl from 2 batches down is really serious about it. We try to crack a joke but get no response. There is a guy, walking like he has boils under his armpits, also dead serious but trying very hard not to look like he is.
Sheikh from our batch, who seems to share our amusement but is taking part nevertheless, walks with a "roll and a bump", a style of walking both distinctive and begging to be copied. He's famous for his walk.

Vinay and I spend half an hour watching this spectacle and when it's over, I get an idea.
The judges are told, quite discreetly, that there is another entry-a "Non-Competitive" one. There are three of them, doing their judging quite seriously. Everyone gets their turn, walking in, twirling their dresses, posing like they think they're models and answering typical Fashion Show questions on "How to Make the World Better'and the like. When all has been said and done, Vinay and I walk on stage together.

We're like conjoined twins-our entry is together.

There is uproar. We proceed to walk Sheikh style, "roll with a bump", in hastily practiced tandem, and stand in front of the stage, stare left, then stare right, make serious faces and finally turn to the judges.
No one knows quite what to do. This is completely impromptu.
We introduce ourselves.

"Hi, I am Schizo", I say. "Hi, I'm Phrenic", says Vinay. "And I'm SchizoPhrenic", we say.

The judges now have to ask something, keeping with the rules of the event. And so Rajive, a Surgery PG and 3 years our senior goes "What happens when you fall in love"?

Now I must confess I didn't really consider what I could have meant when I answer "We don't fall, we rise in love"....

More uproar, lots of laughs and cheers. Some are stunned. We are thrilled.
If there was a prize for this sort of thing, we could have been in the reckoning.

A few days later, it's closing in on Spandan. There is fever pitch activity, last minute screw-ups, last minute solutions to those screw-ups, general confusion and major bonding with classmates with some of whom I've hardly spoken before. Radio is in total "In Charge" mode, but to his credit, he never appears bossy.

Committees are finalised and Vinay and I volunteer for Reception Committee-the site of the A/C's and all the girls from all the Colleges. Anup Pradhan and Anupam are in this Committee also and it promises to be fun. We have the usual contingent of baby juniors who will act as human alarm clocks, waking up everyone for their respective Sports matches and us for our various shifts.
There is the PA system with huge speakers installed on the roofs of Lister and Osler Houses and the golden rule is always followed.
"No one from outside the Reception Comm. is allowed to say anything on the mike".
We, of course, are in the Committee and so we are the ones to actually enforce this rule, and as is the case with enforcers, liberties are taken, especially at 4 AM when there is nothing to do and profound boredom is at hand.
On the 2nd or 3rd day of Spandan, at 4 AM, Vinay grabs the mike and says "Hello, Hello, wakey , wakey". Then it's my turn, then Anup's and finally someone has the good sense to shut us up.
The sound echoes through the loudspeakers perched on the roof of Osler and Lister Houses.
This has repercussions.
 Manoj, who had so honestly mentioned that he had been drinking beer and not whisky during the Hasmukh Lal episode, and who one should never ever cross, has been crossed. He is a Final Year PG and is busy with his Thesis and is therefore, short of sleep and short of temper. He has duly been woken up by our pleas of "Wakey, wakey" and is far from amused.
The next day, when he finds us, and with his permanent faint scowl, demands to know "Who the Fuck was shouting at 4 AM", we express our ignorance and sympathy. And we shut up after that.

The rest of Spandan was as usual. Sheikh handled Informals and was a huge hit, organizing modified cricket matches on the Fashion Show Ramp and various fun and games, some of which were held in the blazing sun and therefore not very well attended. Being in Reception , we saw all of this, and often sauntered outside to grab a bite from the various stalls or just to sit on other people's bikes and look cool.

The Rock Show is the usual phenomenally attended booze fuelled head banging and air guitaring and with that, Spandan finished and now there is nothing to look forward to except exams, ward leavings, vivas, tests and potential attendance disasters.

...And my parent's visit of course.

6 comments:

  1. i do remember schizophrenic . it was hilarious and that would be" pecofes " .

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, Pecofes...will change it. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Blog seems to be losing steam . .

    ReplyDelete
  4. @Anon: I can't create stories. Unfortunately my life wasn't that exciting, so I'm just writing what happened.
    I'm sorry you feel that way. not much I can do about it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. i remember the schizophrenic. it was very sharp. all of us had laughed over it.

    ReplyDelete

Hi Guys....Please do leave a comment!!!

Learning the Language

August 1993 While the terms and the language of Anatomy are flying way over my head, I start to pick up an entirely different language a...