April-May 1996
Well, here they are. After 4 months of torture, I will face the longest set of exams so far. A total of 5 theory papers, 5 vivas and 6 practicals.(Pharm has two). Twice. In the space of about 1 month.
I am actually looking forward to this. 4 months of non stop reading will finally end and I can get on with the rest of my life. It's going to be crazy but I've never been more prepared to face medical exams.
While I've been getting ready for all this, The Jipmer PG Entrance exam also happens and to cut a long story short, neither Plaha or Shom manage to get in. Shom has put himself on a waiting list in ENT and that's what he is doing now, waiting. He will also get married while waiting, an event I shall sadly miss.
Vij, however, managed to get OG and is now a First Year PG. One night, around 2 AM, while I am half studying and half wondering what the hell I am doing, Vij shouts out "Oyyeee" from the Volleyball court below my room. He has a list of B positive students and wants to know if I will be willing to come over and donate a pint for a really sick patient. I'm quite happy to accompany him on my first blood donation trip, obviously because the cause is good but also because I just want to run away from the books.
We go to the ICU where a lady in her 30's is lying on the last bed on the right, intubated and with DIC. The prognosis is not good but we're all trying. She will perhaps receive my donation. I really hope she makes it.
Around 3, I'm a pint less in weight and blood and Vij takes me out for some juice and something to eat. I feel like I've really done something worthwhile. When I wake up the next day, I'm told the lady passed away. I never knew her or cared for her or attended to her but it leaves an empty feeling for a while.
It is my first brush with death as a student.
My Send-Up memories are vague because it all happened so fast. It was all over in a week, theory in the morning, pracs and vivas in the afternoons, all bunched up so that we could finish Send-Ups before the Univs started. Inspite of all this rushing, there will only be a 2 day break between Send-Ups and Univs. For me, it's all the same-one long drawn out marathon.
Pharmacology practical arrive. Madam G is in charge and I get a stupid experiment where I take a mouse and put it's tail on a wire that is heated. There are 2 test tubes labelled A and B, one with saline and one with morphine and my task is to inject both and compare the time the poor mouse takes to flick it's tail from the hot wire that's burning it. Morphine will dull the sensation and the time will be longer. That's the theory anyway.
I just cant be bothered with this crap. so I take the mouse and duly put the tail on the wire and heat it up. I then take one of the tubes and drink it. It tastes awful, bitter and really bad. Morphine.
So that's done. I cook up the times and in 2 minutes I have a successful experiment. My way of showing the finger to the Dept that fingered me. The viva is great and I pass with flying colours.
48 hours later, it's Monday and Univs. Normally I would be up most of the night, high on adrenaline and coffee, rushing to finish the last few pages as I paced up and down just outside the Exam Hall. But today, I feel more confident. And very relieved. Once the exam starts, it's usually a blur. Over before you know it.
The Exam:
The normal Exam venue is Banting Hall but Pharm, along with Micro 1 and Path 1, all last year's papers will be held in Hunter Theatre. Normally this venue is fairly conducive to "illegal cooperation" but there are only 15 or so of us and there is no scope.
The first paper is Pharm. 80 marks. There are about 20 questions, all the same. One drug, it's uses, side effects and contraindications. It gets very repetitive after a while and I cant find a rhythm to my answers. It gets over soon enough though and I think I've done OK.
3 hours later, I'm back in the Mess for lunch where the usual "How was the paper bugger" questions are fielded and the question paper is passed around for juniors to ogle and seniors to proclaim how easy it was.
The next day is Path which goes off well and so does Micro. That takes care of last year's papers and now there are Path 2 and Micro 2 to go.
First up is Path 2. I spend the previous evening reading till 11PM and sleep till 5. It's the most I've slept for any exam. After a bit, I open Lymphomas and proceed to copy the classification of Non Hodgkins on a small bit of paper. I have never ever bothered to learn this bit and I cant start now. So in neat small writing, I write down the entire complicated classification, ready to take with me to the exam. That done, I read some more, shower, shave, breakfast and I'm ready to rock.
The exam is easy. I sail through the questions on "Aneurysms" and "Yolk Sac Tumours" underlining and colouring the key points like I have never done before. There is a 6 mark question "Classify NonHodgkins Lymphomas". This is heaven sent. Free Gift. I have the paper.
But I don't. I check my shirt pocket, my pants and I can't find it. It's just not there. I can't believe it. I'm forced to leave 6 marks blank because I never bothered to actually remember it. So from full marks, I get zero. Divine retribution? I couldn't care less at the moment. I just wanted that bloody chit.
One of the drawbacks of knowing the whole paper well is that there is so much to write.Which means that time is always short and I am scrambling to finish. I manage to finish on time, but only because I left out those 6 marks. When I reach my room, I find that paper sitting neatly under my table lamp, waiting for me to pick it up. Which I never did.
Micro 2 is tomorrow and is a nightmare. I am exhausted and I just want to sleep. But that will have to wait since I am pathetic at Micro. I've almost totally ignored Fungi hoping they don't come in the exam and Parasitology is a nightmare. But just 1 more paper to go.
I shift to Vinay's room for the exam and we read the whole night. Almost no sleep. Around 6, we start to take short 10 minute naps, each waking the other up. This goes on till about 8 when we give up and head off to the exam. The exam is not good. I am sleepy, tired and confused. All the parasites seem the same and I write something hoping my paper won't be scrutinized too carefully.
The theory part is over. It's been a traumatic 5 days. But now there's a whole set of vivas and pracs to come.
Pharm is first and comes and goes with one small hitch. In the viva, with all going really well, I am asked to name a Platelet Activating Factor antagonist. I know it's somewhere there in the book, but I cant remember. I look it up when I get back. Gingkolide B it is. Apparently.
My Path pracs go off well too. The slides are fine and in the Bone Marrow charts I get an AML, which I classify as a Type 3 based on Auer Rods which pleases the examiner like crazy.
Micro 1 is so-so. I've never been great at staining slides and I get an Albert's stain for Diptheria bacteria to do. I follow the steps perfectly and I'm sure I'll get the smooth green background with the red rods that are Diphtheria bacilli. Instead, when I look, I see huge green blotches, very uneven, with no bacteria at all. In the viva, the examiner comes over, takes a look, then gives me a dirty look and sighs. He asks me what I am supposed to see since there is nothing to actually see in my slide at all. I just about manage the biochemical bacterial identification and the viva is very average. I hope I'll pass.
Path 2 arrives and it is my best viva ever. The slides are perfect, the specimen viva is on the Heart where I explain Rheumatic Heart Disease in all it's gory detail, including the genesis of Aschoff bodies and the viva is superb. I've never answered a better viva before or since.
And then, just to balance things, Micro 2 arrives. This is the last set of vivas and pracs and all I want is they somehow get over and I can just go home. The major part of Micro pracs is the parasite identification. We are given some shit (literally) which I spread onto a slide and then look everywhere for the eggs that are supposed to be there. But, I can't find any. Not a single egg. We were promised that this shit would be literally full of them but I just can't see them. When the examiner comes around, there's another dirty look and a sigh. He moves the slides around, does something else and some eggs pop into view. I'm sure I'll fail this one.
When the exams end, I feel nothing. I had imagined waves of relief washing over me or some such thing, but I am numb. I just hope I'll pass everything.
Well, here they are. After 4 months of torture, I will face the longest set of exams so far. A total of 5 theory papers, 5 vivas and 6 practicals.(Pharm has two). Twice. In the space of about 1 month.
I am actually looking forward to this. 4 months of non stop reading will finally end and I can get on with the rest of my life. It's going to be crazy but I've never been more prepared to face medical exams.
While I've been getting ready for all this, The Jipmer PG Entrance exam also happens and to cut a long story short, neither Plaha or Shom manage to get in. Shom has put himself on a waiting list in ENT and that's what he is doing now, waiting. He will also get married while waiting, an event I shall sadly miss.
Vij, however, managed to get OG and is now a First Year PG. One night, around 2 AM, while I am half studying and half wondering what the hell I am doing, Vij shouts out "Oyyeee" from the Volleyball court below my room. He has a list of B positive students and wants to know if I will be willing to come over and donate a pint for a really sick patient. I'm quite happy to accompany him on my first blood donation trip, obviously because the cause is good but also because I just want to run away from the books.
We go to the ICU where a lady in her 30's is lying on the last bed on the right, intubated and with DIC. The prognosis is not good but we're all trying. She will perhaps receive my donation. I really hope she makes it.
Around 3, I'm a pint less in weight and blood and Vij takes me out for some juice and something to eat. I feel like I've really done something worthwhile. When I wake up the next day, I'm told the lady passed away. I never knew her or cared for her or attended to her but it leaves an empty feeling for a while.
It is my first brush with death as a student.
My Send-Up memories are vague because it all happened so fast. It was all over in a week, theory in the morning, pracs and vivas in the afternoons, all bunched up so that we could finish Send-Ups before the Univs started. Inspite of all this rushing, there will only be a 2 day break between Send-Ups and Univs. For me, it's all the same-one long drawn out marathon.
Pharmacology practical arrive. Madam G is in charge and I get a stupid experiment where I take a mouse and put it's tail on a wire that is heated. There are 2 test tubes labelled A and B, one with saline and one with morphine and my task is to inject both and compare the time the poor mouse takes to flick it's tail from the hot wire that's burning it. Morphine will dull the sensation and the time will be longer. That's the theory anyway.
I just cant be bothered with this crap. so I take the mouse and duly put the tail on the wire and heat it up. I then take one of the tubes and drink it. It tastes awful, bitter and really bad. Morphine.
So that's done. I cook up the times and in 2 minutes I have a successful experiment. My way of showing the finger to the Dept that fingered me. The viva is great and I pass with flying colours.
48 hours later, it's Monday and Univs. Normally I would be up most of the night, high on adrenaline and coffee, rushing to finish the last few pages as I paced up and down just outside the Exam Hall. But today, I feel more confident. And very relieved. Once the exam starts, it's usually a blur. Over before you know it.
The Exam:
The normal Exam venue is Banting Hall but Pharm, along with Micro 1 and Path 1, all last year's papers will be held in Hunter Theatre. Normally this venue is fairly conducive to "illegal cooperation" but there are only 15 or so of us and there is no scope.
The first paper is Pharm. 80 marks. There are about 20 questions, all the same. One drug, it's uses, side effects and contraindications. It gets very repetitive after a while and I cant find a rhythm to my answers. It gets over soon enough though and I think I've done OK.
3 hours later, I'm back in the Mess for lunch where the usual "How was the paper bugger" questions are fielded and the question paper is passed around for juniors to ogle and seniors to proclaim how easy it was.
The next day is Path which goes off well and so does Micro. That takes care of last year's papers and now there are Path 2 and Micro 2 to go.
First up is Path 2. I spend the previous evening reading till 11PM and sleep till 5. It's the most I've slept for any exam. After a bit, I open Lymphomas and proceed to copy the classification of Non Hodgkins on a small bit of paper. I have never ever bothered to learn this bit and I cant start now. So in neat small writing, I write down the entire complicated classification, ready to take with me to the exam. That done, I read some more, shower, shave, breakfast and I'm ready to rock.
The exam is easy. I sail through the questions on "Aneurysms" and "Yolk Sac Tumours" underlining and colouring the key points like I have never done before. There is a 6 mark question "Classify NonHodgkins Lymphomas". This is heaven sent. Free Gift. I have the paper.
But I don't. I check my shirt pocket, my pants and I can't find it. It's just not there. I can't believe it. I'm forced to leave 6 marks blank because I never bothered to actually remember it. So from full marks, I get zero. Divine retribution? I couldn't care less at the moment. I just wanted that bloody chit.
One of the drawbacks of knowing the whole paper well is that there is so much to write.Which means that time is always short and I am scrambling to finish. I manage to finish on time, but only because I left out those 6 marks. When I reach my room, I find that paper sitting neatly under my table lamp, waiting for me to pick it up. Which I never did.
Micro 2 is tomorrow and is a nightmare. I am exhausted and I just want to sleep. But that will have to wait since I am pathetic at Micro. I've almost totally ignored Fungi hoping they don't come in the exam and Parasitology is a nightmare. But just 1 more paper to go.
I shift to Vinay's room for the exam and we read the whole night. Almost no sleep. Around 6, we start to take short 10 minute naps, each waking the other up. This goes on till about 8 when we give up and head off to the exam. The exam is not good. I am sleepy, tired and confused. All the parasites seem the same and I write something hoping my paper won't be scrutinized too carefully.
The theory part is over. It's been a traumatic 5 days. But now there's a whole set of vivas and pracs to come.
Pharm is first and comes and goes with one small hitch. In the viva, with all going really well, I am asked to name a Platelet Activating Factor antagonist. I know it's somewhere there in the book, but I cant remember. I look it up when I get back. Gingkolide B it is. Apparently.
My Path pracs go off well too. The slides are fine and in the Bone Marrow charts I get an AML, which I classify as a Type 3 based on Auer Rods which pleases the examiner like crazy.
Micro 1 is so-so. I've never been great at staining slides and I get an Albert's stain for Diptheria bacteria to do. I follow the steps perfectly and I'm sure I'll get the smooth green background with the red rods that are Diphtheria bacilli. Instead, when I look, I see huge green blotches, very uneven, with no bacteria at all. In the viva, the examiner comes over, takes a look, then gives me a dirty look and sighs. He asks me what I am supposed to see since there is nothing to actually see in my slide at all. I just about manage the biochemical bacterial identification and the viva is very average. I hope I'll pass.
Path 2 arrives and it is my best viva ever. The slides are perfect, the specimen viva is on the Heart where I explain Rheumatic Heart Disease in all it's gory detail, including the genesis of Aschoff bodies and the viva is superb. I've never answered a better viva before or since.
And then, just to balance things, Micro 2 arrives. This is the last set of vivas and pracs and all I want is they somehow get over and I can just go home. The major part of Micro pracs is the parasite identification. We are given some shit (literally) which I spread onto a slide and then look everywhere for the eggs that are supposed to be there. But, I can't find any. Not a single egg. We were promised that this shit would be literally full of them but I just can't see them. When the examiner comes around, there's another dirty look and a sigh. He moves the slides around, does something else and some eggs pop into view. I'm sure I'll fail this one.
When the exams end, I feel nothing. I had imagined waves of relief washing over me or some such thing, but I am numb. I just hope I'll pass everything.
Bugger, terrible example for gullible med school students, now that you are an Assoc Prof!! :) And drinking that morphine was just brilliant - Dr. G should have given you a distinction just for thinking On your feet and giving the fastest solution possible with no torture to the poor mouse. How come I never heard about this from you! Great writing as usual.
ReplyDeleteyou didn't fall in a heap after drinking the morphine?shudder...also ingenious...(i probably shouldn't be saying this!)
ReplyDelete