The Beginning

Early June, 1993

It's 6 AM, the Sun is already up and so am I. I have been waiting for this day for the last 2 months, which have passed by in a blur of furious studying punctuated by multiple, irregularly spaced out Medical Entrance Exams. I have spent the last 2 years studying for these exams, success in which will grant me entrance to the Medical Colleges these exams represent. My life has come to a virtual standstill. My brain is full of irrelevant facts from Physics, Chemistry and Biology-subjects with little or no relevance in a Medical course should I succeed. 

Today is the day when the results of the biggest Exam in the country will be announced in the morning newspapers. The exam is called "The All India CBSE." I have already been selected for colleges in Chandigarh-my hometown, Punjab, St Johns and AFMC. This exam will open up many more possibilities as 15 % of all seats in Govt Colleges are reserved for candidates from this exam. It's the biggie. 

As the clock ticks, I find myself having second thoughts. With doctors on the maternal side of the family, I am aware, at least partially, of the trials and tribulations of a life in medicine. The decision to take Medical exams as opposed to the more popular option of a life in the Civil Services or the coveted IIT/MBA combination has been mine, and mine alone. My parents have been nothing but supportive. This is the day my dreams may come true. 

But inside, I know my life will change. My carefree days will be over. A tiny voice in my head hopes that I won't succeed. Doubts creep in. 

And then the phone rings. It can only be Sodhi, my classmate who we all know will crack the exam. He must have been at the bus stop, waiting for the morning editions fresh off the presses. My father picks it up and calls for me. 

It is Sodhi and I can picture him on the other end poring over the list of ranks and roll numbers, running his fingers till he finds his. And mine. 

His All India Rank is 3. Mine is 141. There were over 10000 candidates for the exam so I should feel elated. But I am a bit numb. There is no going back now. 

This is the day I took my first step towards becoming a doctor

Over the course of the day, with congratulations pouring in, I find that out of the 10 students in my study group, 5 are ranked in the All India top 10, including the All India No 1, Rohtashav Dhir. Rohtash, as we call him, has also made into AIIMS but Sodhi, inexplicably, has not. AIIMS only releases the top 50 ranks and my name is not in the list. I'm not keen to join the Armed Forces in any capacity and St Johns wants me to travel to Bangalore for an interview. The 2 year old Chandigarh Medical College is too new, completely untested and is not an option. Punjab colleges have sad stories attached to them. I have to thus rely on the All India exam and it's counselling is announced for July.

This counselling is a new thing. Even when I had filled up the exam application form 4 months ago, a separate form wanted a list of 10 colleges in my order of preference I would be allotted depending on rank and availability. I had filled up MAMC and UCMS-the top colleges in Delhi, followed by a fairly random selection of colleges based mainly on distance from Chandigarh. Jipmer, a college of national repute came in 3rd. I had filled up Jipmer only because Vikrant Gupta, the son of the Head of Radiotherapy at PGI was studying there. My father and Dr BD Gupta, Vikrant's father, had become close in the course of treatment for my grandfather and he had nothing bu high praise for Jipmer. The college, however, was almost in the back of beyond, 2000 kms away, and though I filled it as a 3rd choice, I didn't think too much of it.
Now, however, the choice was mine to make.

The Counselling: 
Most of June is spent in deciding what college I'll plump for. Delhi seemed unlikely since the results were heavily skewed towards North India and Delhi was a favoured choice. This left some random state colleges and Jipmer. My parents obviously wanted the best I could manage and Jipmer, with endorsements from Vikrant (whom I had never met) and it's status as a Central Govt Institute became the default choice.

My father and I reach the Counselling Centre at 9 sharp. There are 100 ranks per counselling session and we sit in a large room, looking a big screen on which real time updates of the Colleges and their available seats are displayed. We are called in turn and the Delhi colleges are already over in the top 100 ranks. Jipmer has 11 seats in the All India quota and there don't seem to be many takers. By now, I'm quite excited at the prospect of a College far, far away and when my rank is called, I walk up, pick up a mike and announce carefully and slowly-Jipmer. The counsellers confirm my decision and I sign a paper making my answer official. It's that simple.

I have taken the first step towards becoming a Doctor. From a College 2000 kms and a 36 hour train ride away.

July-August 1993

There is still some time to go before I leave home for Pondicherry and now the reality of leaving my parents, my sister, my home and my 4 year old dog sets in. I've grown up here in this town, the last 7 years have been spent in this house and despite still being at home, I'm already homesick.
On a map of India on my wall, I look for Pondicherry. It's south of Chennai, the furthest South I've ever been, on a vacation 4 years ago. At that time, Chennai had seemed almost foreign, and this is even further. And I won't be going on vacation. The scale of the map just magnifies the distance.

We travel to Patna in the intervening lull to visit my grandmother. On the return flight to Delhi, which happens to be via Ranchi, my Aunt travelling with me finds a familiar face, the son of a family friend they know well in Patna. I am introduced to Shomeshwar, who is also in Jipmer and will be 3 years senior to me-Vikrant's classmate. Shomeshwar is on his way back, I presume and I promise to look him up when I get there. He seems slightly preoccupied however, but it's reassuring to have another familiar face in a place as far away as Pondy.

I also hear that I have a Local Guradian in Pondy. Mr BK Prasad, the Deputy Director (Admin) of Jipmer had worked with my late grandfather years ago and he had taken his advice to move to Pondicherry where he was now.

As often happens, the days pass by too quickly, just when you don't really want them to. I leave for Pondy in 2 days. Bags are packed and I've already bought books suggested by Vikrant through his father. Gray's Anatomy, Guyton's Physiology and Harper's Biochem. I also have a 3 volume set of a red Anatomy book called Chaurasia and a thinner 3 volume dissection set called Cunningham. They are a far cry from the school books I had read so far and even though they were big, these are from a different planet. And these are just the books for the first 12 months or so. The sight is exhilarating and depressing at the same time.

8th to 11th August, 1993
In my own life history, this is a landmark day. Suitcases are loaded, a goodbye ritual of a short prayer and a Bihar/UP ritual of putting a coin in some water is done. My father will accompany me to Pondicherry and it's time.
Even though I have been quite prepared for this moment, as the car leaves with my mother, sister, house and dog receding in the rear view mirror, the tears start to fall. I can't help it. My father, sitting beside me, glances but leaves me to my thoughts. It's a reflex reaction and he knows it and I'm fine after a while.

The flight to Chennai lands in pouring rain. It's late at night and we spend it at the Raj Bhawan guest house. The next day, a taxi arrives and we are on the highway to Pondicherry.
Dad has spent many years in the IAS and as it happens, his batchmate is the Chief Secretary of Pondicherry and we will meet him for lunch. His son, Rahul is also a student in Jipmer, a year senior and I look forward to meeting him.
The taxi turns East towards Pondy at a small town called Tindivanam and the highway narrows to a single lane-well tarred and lined by trees throughout. Scattered villages lie among green fields, patches of standing water lie among thatched huts and green fields and the odd villager passes by on his cycle. The Sun filters through the trees lining the gently winding road and this part of the journey is very idyllic-rural and peaceful.
The miles pass and buildings start appearing-still small and still scattered with the Jipmer campus and the promise of Pondicherry lurking further on. Soon enough, the border with a "Welcome to Pondicherry" appears and the taxi driver points out the start of the Jipmer Campus on the left, which is disappointingly hidden behind a large water tank and huge trees. I glimpse a red building but not much else.

We settle in the Guest House and head over for lunch to Rahul's house, a short walk away.
Rahul is not to be seen. It seems he is studying for a test. And then he appears.
Rahul is HUGE. Lunch is excellent and Rahul, who is studying for a Physiology test, tells me not to drink too much water because "it will dilute the gastric juices". Rahul also assures me there is not much ragging and he won't rag me in any case, and I detect a slight disappointment in his voice, though I must have imagined it. He is currently a Day Scholar but will be shifting to the Hostel very soon. I look at him and his vast expanse and am grateful he is not a potential ragger.

Back in the Guest House, I get a crash course in washing clothes and the next day, we cross the road into Jipmer Campus. I barely get a glimpse and I'm disoriented in any case. Admission formailities take up the morning-paperwork and a Medical test which involves running around an incredibly crowded OPD block.
This is where I first met Vikrant and he spent the morning taking me all over the place getting tests done-introducing me to everyone as the "New Junior". Even though he obviously meant well, I can't shake the feeling that I have suddenly become a very interesting object for everyone.

I am allotted 229, Lister House-a double room I will share with someone called Ashley. Ashley is from Chennai but he isn't anywhere to be seen. Dad and I climb the one floor to my room, passing a very dingy bathroom and I stare at my home-to-be for the forseeable future.

Iron cots, 2 tables, a wooden stool, an electricity board, a fan and 2 cupboards. A window overlooking trees. The cross ventilation is the only saving grace. On a later trip to Pondy town, mattresses and pillows are bought. My mother has already packed cases, bedsheets and bedcovers and in typical mother style, has initialed my clothes on the collars. A cardboard box full of the stuff I like to eat is unpacked, the table gets a blue table cloth and the books are arranged in what now looks like a mountain of a pile. Clothes are unpacked neatly.
My room is ready for me to move in.

I meet Mr Prasad, a lovely, homely, undeniably Bihari man and his wonderful family who will be my Local Guardians here. I promise to drop in regularly for meals or whenever. His daughter, Sonu is also in Jipmer and will be 2 years senior to me.

And then, just like that, it's time. Everything is in place, except my emotions. Sharp at 750 AM the next day, well in time for the 1st class of the day, Dad and I walk through the small white main gate, up the road towards the Main Door of the Hospital/College. The Sun is bright, it's very hot and it's even hotter in my brand new white coat.

"Well, here we are", my father says, as we reach the Main Gate. "All the best", he adds.
I can't say much. This moment is as emotional for him as it is for me, but we both pretend to be men for the moment and as I look back, perhaps this is the moment, I did become one. Or started to anyway.

Dad turns and starts a long walk back. I enter through the wooden doors.

I am a Jipmerite.